it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
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If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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