That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
