Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
