shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
