mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
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Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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