Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
