Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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