This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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