new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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