oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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