if you like me you must not know who I am
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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