i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
