I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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