And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
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