I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
third nipple confirmed
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize