We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
