its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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