next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
