she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
