Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
