and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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