she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Barsexuality is the new black.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
