he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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