i was born a porn star she said
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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