like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
