garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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