he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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