What did we do last night that was yellow?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
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Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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