i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
