the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I came so hard my ears popped.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
