I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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