you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
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He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
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