I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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