I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
