do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
