I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?