And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just google imaged poop.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?