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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.

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• (760): View more from California

  I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.

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• (714): View more from California

  Who was that guy you went home with?

  (1-714): View more from California

  Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (925): View more from California

  I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.

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• (747): View more from California

  That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.

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