last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
