Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.

Fav 12 997 2006
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(631): View more from New York

I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.

(401): View more from Rhode Island

I don't want you to recite the pledge!

(631): View more from New York

Pledge alligien to america to united states of america

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just google imaged poop.

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(513): View more from Ohio

Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.

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These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.

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(214): View more from Texas

Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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(304): View more from West Virginia

watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?

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