How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
