you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
