I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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