Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize