@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
