You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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