he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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