just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
