he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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