I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
