How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
