soooo we both peed the bed last night...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
