I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize