you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
