At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My breasts were aching with rage.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
