I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
