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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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