Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
