dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
