I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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