why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
